The operating statement Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

The operating statement - Essay Example Variable costs are costs are those, which vary with the level of activity while fixed costs are those, which are constant irrespective of the level of activity. However, the increase or decrease of fixed costs is not related to the level of activity alone as they may though change over a period. Variable costs on the other hand are directly related to the business activity; they include costs such as those for raw materials and inventory. They vary in the sense that the more of each you need in production the more the costs will increase (Czopek 2004). When the budgeted of these costs is more than the actual, then the discrepancy is termed as an adverse and a control measure must be put in place in actual/real time (Czopek 2004). The operation statement will therefore help the management in identification of each of the costs, when they are favorable as well as when they are adverse and formulate the control mechanisms for normal operations. As there is no single direct way or strate gy of cost management and control, the mangers will be forced to examine the whole business strategy and make a determination of how to achieve a cost reduction without interfering with the business operations. Variable cost control Variable costs will rise with expansion in production and fall when production falls; this is quite useful for effective decision-making. They include costs such as those for raw materials, packaging and direct labor (Czopek 2004). The operating statement shows clearly a Budgeted gross profit of 18339.30 pounds. As indicated by the variable costs variances, they are adverse as shown: - Sales volume profit variance = (2,130 – 2,100) ? 8.61 = ?258.3 (A) and Sales price variance = (15.0 – 14.5) ? 2,100 = ?1,050.0 (A). Material M3 price variance = (1.55 ? 1,050) – 1,680 = ?52.5 (A), Material M3 usage variance = ((2,100 ? 0.6) – 1,050) ? 1.55 = ?325.5 (F), Material M7 price variance = (1.75 ? 1,470) – 2,793 = ?220.5 (A) and Material M7 usage variance = ((2,100 ? 0.68) – 1,470) ? 1.75 = ?73.5 (A). Direct labor rate variance = (7.2 ? 525) – 3,675 = ?105.0 (F), Direct labor efficiency variance = ((2,100 ?14/60) – 525) ? 7.2 = ?252.0 (A), Variable overhead expenditure variance = (2.1 ? 525) – 1,260 = ?157.5 (A), Variable overhead efficiency variance = ((2,100 ? 14/60) – 525) ? 2.1 = ?73.5 (A). In order to achieve the budgeted profit, the management will have to do something about the adverse variable cost variances, which include those for labor, raw material in terms of material usage and the variable overheads. Material M3 whose price variance is adverse with its usage favorable, the management can look for a cheaper substitute of the same material to curb the negative variance. Depending on the cause of adverse material price variance as indicated by material M7, management will find out, if it is caused by changes in purchase prices, they can find a substitute. If it is caused by substitution of the original with a new material, the management will decide to go back to the original raw material. The management by help of the operating statement will be able to device other ways of controlling the adverse material cost variance by deciding to look for materials which have cash discounts and buying from suppliers who offer transportation and storage as after sales services. Direct labor rate variance is favorable with direct labor efficiency variance being unfavorable at 252.0 pounds. The management is therefore able to know the causes of

CPA or a Contract Specialist Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

CPA or a Contract Specialist - Assignment Example There are two occupational areas I would like to pursue, and these are: to be a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) or a Contract Specialist for the government. Let me tackle each profession separately so I can present them individually and in greater detail. I’d like to be a CPA because the demand for this type of job has not diminished in the last 5 to 10 years. I also find this profession challenging and very interesting, and this career also offers a lot of possible options on the lateral level, and as you go up the occupational ladder.The educational requirements to be a CPA varies dependent on the State you are applying to. For some, a baccalaureate degree in Accounting would suffice. However, in others, additional Accounting courses in the graduate level would have to be taken and some other exams have to be passed. Still others require a Master’s Degree in Accounting or Business Administration.. Accountants deal with numbers a lot. Every company is usually depende nt on the accounting department for their financial statements, tax computations, salaries and wages among other things. CPAs are usually hired by private companies as full-time or part-time consultant, or are employed full-time in Accounting and Auditing Firms. From this end, accountants make great use of their time and talent in assisting individuals, corporations, government and private corporations in trying to make sense of all the figures which affect the company in more ways than one. Consequently, the ever-increasing requirement for CPAs is further intensified.

History and Archives Essay Example for Free

History and Archives Essay She was born in Moscow, Russia and spent all her childhood and most of her young years in the Soviet Union. She went to school in Moscow from 1973 to 1983, for 10 years. At school she was very interested in history especially in ancient history. She loved to read books about history of Egypt, Italy and Mexico and also started to develop an interest in how the people live in different countries and why they all are different in some ways and the same in other ways. During her childhood every summer she went to different camps, where she met new people from different republics (that now after the crash of the USSR they are all different countries. In 1983 she was admitted to Moscow Order of Honor State University of History and Archives. She was there for 6 years and received a Diploma for Master of History and Archival Science. While at the University she witnessed the last years of the Great Empire of the Soviet Union and its Collapse. She saw how people started to change when their lives were drastically changed by Perestroika. She saw how families collapsed under the strains of a new social and economic system which imposed new financial hardship and drastic even overnight changes in societal norms. She saw how children from those families reacted to escalating divorce rates and how their lives changed for the worse. Deep interest in history and cultures of different countries led her to explore on human behavior, their similarities and differences. †¢ Having grown up in a totalitarian system and experiencing the perceived freedoms we enjoy here, she have an appreciation for issues related to how human beings deal with different pressures and expectations. †¢ In the time that she was with people from other cultural backgrounds, she developed a great appreciation for the differences in cultural traditions and social behavior. †¢ She pursued this interest and took up a master’s course in History and Archival Science. †¢ As she witnessed the tragic collapse of her nation, she saw how society as a whole abandoned the notion of Social responsibility and any feelings of obligation to others that were mandated by the government at one time were replaced with a vacuum that left many in search of a new vision of their place in society. †¢ She observed how people react when their dreams and expectations taste the bitterness of reality and adjust to changes and stress and most of the times take up the negative route and enter into alcoholism, drug abuse, prostitution, felony. Personality The collapse of society happened almost overnight. It was shocking to her that the transformation of millions within such a short time, and to the extent of that transformation. Unfortunately it did not getting better; in fact it started to affect her. She now faced to adapt to her changing environment after adhering so closely to my traditional beliefs of honor and respect. Later she adapted to a new marriage and followed her spouse to the US. The move to the US was a very drastic change for her at that time. A totally different country, traditions, language and social norms. She had some difficult time in adjusting and understanding that country. Yet another adaptation was required of her. Her daughter was born and once again she was entering a different world with no guidance. She found her â€Å"loving† husband of 20 years cheating on her with another woman. This was not what she expected in the least. Her life made no sense. Her beliefs that were honed for so many years were critically tasked. This new information made the pathways in her brain over taxed. This was not what she could accept. But she had too. There was no other reality. Still it took her years to grasp with that reality. Much as others deal with change she had trouble. It was her dispassionate belief that with coaching, that people could deal with a fast changing environment, including a new economic and social reality. She ended with a divorce. She then even had to adjust and live with the situation when her little girl was taken from her based on fraudulent allegations that swayed a person (one of many) who was the judge. Her heart was cut; she was drowning in ocean of emotions, and ones again in her life for the purpose to survive. †¢ After the collapse of her nation, she began reading books on psychology, philosophy and religion, in order to adjust to the drastic change and realized that adaptation was the greatest tool that humans possessed. †¢ For the purpose of dealing with the new challenges confronting her after the birth of her daughter, she began to educate herself through reading in order to learn more about the child development and psychology. †¢ When she found her husband cheating on her, she could not accept it. But she had too. There was no other reality. She took years to grasp with that reality. She faced troubles initially but dispassionately believed that with coaching, that people can deal with a fast changing environment, including a new economic and social reality. †¢ To get through her divorce, she returned to reading books on psychology and started to speak with counselors and therapists. She learned an incredible amount of practical applications of behavioral and cognitive tools she could use to adapt to this latest crisis. By reading and learning more she developed the desire to help and support people who face change and find it hard to adapt. She learnt enough to allow her to make a greater impact on how to teach people from an early age to handle change and look for ways to adapt that benefit society has a whole. She realized that her way, she and many others can adapt to new environmental stresses can and must be influenced by people who can motivate people who can show them how to deal with situations that were never expected. Whether it is dealing with a Cultural Revolution, and actual revolution, a great upheaval, a great loss, or a custody battle in a divorce or more recently fuel prices that will effect the poor’s heating in Northern states, peoples’ financial stresses; people need to have help in guiding them through these transitions, and she wanted to make a difference in this way. She understood how different people are and how the behaviors of various groups are allowed to flourish. This dichotomy intrigued her as it would seem that a healthy society had to strike for some balance. She loved to explore the issue at greater length and have some guidance in understanding socio-psychological issues. She was not so much interested in pathology as she was in theoretical psychology of social norms and patterns along with how to setup systems to manage the needs of individuals along with the pressures of societal needs and peaceful coexistence. She wished to use adaptation tool to grow as a person. She looked for something to help her on this journey and I thought a respected school and her desire together could be used to help other’s who have undergone serious social stresses in life, while maintaining a positive social framework in which they can function. In this way she was on her way to growth. References Pavlov, â€Å"Conditioned Reflex† (1903), [Internet], Available at http://www. pbs. org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/bhpavl. html, Accessed on: 3 August 2009 Skinner,† The Behavior of Organism† (1936), [Internet], Available athttp://www. pbs. org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/bhskin. html, Accessed: on 3 August 2009

Reflective Essay on Clinical Decision Making

Reflective Essay on Clinical Decision Making Clinical decision making in nursing involves applying critical thinking skills to select the best available evidence based option to control risks and address patients needs in the provision of high quality care that nurses are accountable for. Standing, M. (2011) Nurses are accountable for the quality, safety and effectiveness of their clinical decision making. We are accountable to the patients, clients and service users to whom we owe a duty of care. According to Standing, M. (2011), accountability in decision making is being answerable to patients, the public, employers, NMC and the law for the consequences of our actions and having to explain, justify, and defend our decisions. The Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC, 2008) states that nurses are personally accountable for their actions during practice and therefore they must be able to justify their decisions at all time. Nurses have to balance a number of elements before they make a decision, however the patients best interest is their main priority. Decision making involves assessing available options and their effectiveness. It applies judgement regarding our reasons for doing or not doing things. As nurses, we use different information sources to support our judgement and decision making. Nursing is the use of clinical judgement in the provision of care to enable people to improve, maintain, or recover health, to cope with health problems, and to achieve the best possible quality of life whatever their disease or disability, until death. (Royal College of Nursing, 2003) Decision making requires thinking skills to exercise judgement in assessing the benefits of available options and choosing a preferred option that is then acted upon. Judgement is not decision making but is closely related. Decision making links judgement to practice by acting on it in choosing from the options available. There are different models of decision making in nursing developed to help nurses make their decision on all aspects of nursing care and I decided to focus on risk analysis and management and evidence based decision making. Clinical practice is often concerned with risk reduction and with the developing trend in healthcare litigation, there is a big emphasis on risk management for both the patients and health care staffs. Clinical risk management will fundamentally happen through the interpretation and application of agreed individual care plans. The development of a comprehensive and individualised care plan will relate to the broad range of effective treatment, rehabilitation and support services provided at the current level of clinical knowledge (Morgan, S., 1998). Risk assessment is a process of identifying and investigating factors associated with the increased probability of specified risk occurring. It is an examination of the context and details of past risk incidents in the light of current circumstances. It is also concerned with the patterns of circumstances in which these factors may arise. A nurse may assess a patient as at risk of developing pressure sores, and then implement measures to try and reduced the likelihood of this event occurring by providing equipment such as specialist mattress. Risk assessment is a continuous process in which nurses gather information from multiple sources and other health care professionals with the focus of identifying the factors that is associated with the increased probability of risk happening. It is the foundation on which decisions are made and risks plans are then formulated through available national and local policies and procedures (Morgan, S.,1998). According to Lipsedge (1995), good practice in risk assessment requires nurses to translate their knowledge into a clearly distinct formulation of the risks. The formulation should ideally reflect aspects of each individual, context and systems that may influence the potential for risks. The primary aim of pressure ulcer risk assessment tool is to help nurses identify individuals at risk of pressure ulcers and determine the degree of risk (Shakespeare 1994).Formal pressure ulcer risk assessment involves the use of a tool that assists in identifying those patients likely to develop a pressure ulcer. According to Guy, H. (2007), risk assessment on pressure ulcer requires multifactorial consideration. Risk-assessment tools are a useful signpost to risk factors but must not be used in isolation to identify risk. It is important to carry out a care plan once the patient is identified to be at risk of developing a pressure sore so that occurrence of pressure damage can be prevented. Most nurses are familiar with the use of pressure sore risk assessment tools such as the Braden or Waterlow scales. These tools collect data regarding various factors thought to be associated with the development of pressure sores. There is normally some form of scoring system which shows the probability of the pressure sore occurring. For example, if a patient scores 15 or over on the Waterlow scale, the individual may be considered at risk of developing pressure sores and therefore the nurses will have to maintain a pressure ulcer prevention (PUP) bundle in order to keep track of the patients condition. According to Waterlow (1985), recommended care interventions are available with each recommendation corresponding to the risk score parameters of the Waterlow scale. The Waterlow scale is mostly used in adult field of nursing. It can also be used with hospitalised mental health and learning disability patients. However, the Waterlow scale is specifically designed for adults and therefore it is not appropriate to be use on children. Paediatrics use a different pressure ulcer risk assessment tool called the Glamorgan scale (Willock, J. et al, 2007). No risk assessment tool can be 100% accurate. The key issue in examining risk assessment tools is how good they are at distinguishing those at risk from those who are not and if they are better or more accurate than simply relying on professional judgement (Thompson, C. Dowding, D., 2002). When considering risk assessment and risk reduction, it is important that the initial assessment of risk is accurate. Evidence refers to information that is used to support particular beliefs, decisions and actions. Evidence-based decision making is a prescriptive approach to making choices based on ideas of how research and theory can be used to improve decision making in regards to delivery and quality of patient care. According to Nursing and Midwifery Council (2008a, p.7), nurses are now required to use evidence based practice. For example, nurses must deliver care based on the best available evidence or practice and must ensure any advice given to patients are evidence based. Sackett el al (1996) defines evidence base practice as the conscientious, explicit and judicious use of current best evidence in making decisions about the care of the individual patient by incorporating individual clinical expertise with the best available external clinical evidence from a systematic research. This means that one solution will not be the same for all clinical scenarios and it is the nurses role to identify the research that best fits the clinical situation. According to McKibbon (1998): Evidence based practice is an approach to health care wherein health professionals use the best evidence possible, i.e. the most appropriate information available to make clinical decisions for individual patients. Evidence based practice values, enhances and builds on clinical expertise, knowledge of disease mechanisms, and pathophysiology. It involves complex and conscientious decision making based not only on the available evidence but also on patient characteristics, situations and preferences. It recognises that health care is individualised and ever changing and involves uncertainties and probabilities. Ultimately, Evidence base practice is the formalisation of the care process that the best clinicians have practiced for generations. McKibbon (1998) recognises the importance of the patient when making decisions about their own care. According to Reigle, Steven, Belcher et al (2008) and Talsma, Grady, Feetham, et al (2008), the reason why evidence based practice is consistently implemented is because it leads to the highest quality of care and best patient outcomes. It involves combining the knowledge of an expert, patient preferences and research evidence within the context of available resources. Also, studies by McGuinty and Anderson (2008) and Williams (2004) showed that evidence based practice has reduced healthcare costs and geographic variation in delivery of care. Integrating research evidence into decision making involves forming a focused clinical question in response to a recognised information need, searching for the most appropriate evidence to meet that need, critically appraising the retrieved evidence, incorporating the evidence into a strategy for action, and evaluating the effects of any decisions and actions taken. Thompson et al (2004) One of the tools used in evidence based practice is the use of the early warning score system (EWS). EWS were developed to assist health care professionals detect if patients are deteriorating. It is based on physiological parameters taken when recording patient observation e.g. the patients heart rate, respiratory rate, temperature, oxygen saturations and systolic blood pressure. The EWS is designed for adults and can also be use with mental health and learning disability patients. However, due to children and adults different physiological responses, EWS is inappropriate to use on children. Alternatively, Paediatric Early Warning Scores (PEWS) is use for children, to record observations and is use to assess the childs condition i.e. If the childs score is high then this means he/she is at risk of deteriorating, this gives nurses an early indication that an action has to be done. The use of early warning score (EWS) is the best practice for clinical observations (Department of Health, 2000), and this is backed up by NCEPOD (2005) who emphasised that every in-patient should have a EWS recorded. Accurate and timely observations and adherence to EWS is essential in order to recognise patients who are at risk of deterioration. According to NICE (2007), nurses caring for patients in acute hospital settings should be skilled in monitoring, measuring, and interpreting data and have prompt response to the acutely ill patient and they should be assessed in order to demonstrate their competency. Early intervention can help prevent patients condition from deteriorating which then helps avoid the need to transfer the patient to a higher level of care. However, despite the good outcome of using evidence based practice in decision making with regards to patient care, there are issues such as nurses do not always make their decision based on available evidence due to lack of skills i.e. poor IT skills, lack of research skills and literature. There are also misconceptions that traditional ways is the best way, or that gathering evidence is too difficult and time consuming. Becoming skilled in clinical decision making requires the application of a range of evidence regarding patient concern, physical and human resources within healthcare contexts, understanding health and illnesses, developing expertise in applying therapeutic approaches, a commitment to enhance the wellbeing of those in your care and fulfilling the requirements of the relevant professional body. Overall, as nurses, it is important to have a basis when we make a decision regarding patient care. Risk is integral to nursing and the assessment of risk is one of the most common judgements nurses make. Each decision making model requires certain set of skills in order to be put on proper use and get the right results. Nurses are expected to use valid evidence to support their decisions when deciding what care to provide each patient. It is also important that nurses use their resources cost effectively by ensuring that resources and equipment are used correctly by the patient. Sometimes it is difficult for the nurse to come to a decision that will satisfy clients and co-workers and they also may be challenged at any time, however the important thing is that the nurse takes full responsibility and is able to justify his/her decision. Making the wrong clinical decision is not only harmful to patients but can also damage a nurses career. Learning about developing and applying effecti ve clinical decision making skills is vital for the wellbeing of patients and nurses capacity to demonstrate that decisions are justified.

The Birth of China :: The Birth of China Herrlee Glessner Essays

The Birth of China Herrlee Glessner Creel wrote The Birth of China. The book was published in 1937 at Frederick Lungar Publishing in New York City. Creel was born in Chicago, Illinois on January 15 1905. Both Creel’s mother and father were writers. Creel attended the University of Oklahoma, Creighton University, and finally the University of Chicago where he received his Ph.D. in 1929. In 1922 he worked as a newspaper reporter and later became a Sinologist discovering oracle bones that dated back to 3,000 years. Eventually, Creel became a Professor of Chinese History and Literature at the University of Chicago. Creel died in June of 1994, he was then living in Parlos Park, Illinois. His books have been published in England, France, Japan, Italy, and Spain. He wrote once that, â€Å"My principal concern is to understand the origins and the early history of humanity’s most continually enduring civilization, that of China.† The first section of this book talks about the true discovery of china. Creel notes that until the late 1800’s and early 1900’s with the discovery of China’s magnificent marble sculptures and oracle bones, we had to rely on tradition and legend for the knowledge of the Chinese people. He goes on to talk about the excavation of Chinese artifacts and finally the origin of the Chinese people. In the second section Creel goes on to the talk about the great city of Shang. The Shang were the first people known Chinese history. That period in time is now referred to as the Shang Dynasty. He discuses there livelihood, handicrafts, sculpture and bronze, society, war, writing, their gods, and talks about sacrifice. Finally, in the last section, Creel talks about the Chou Dynasty. A huge advance in civilized living gave him a chance to discuss China’s early politics, literature, marriage, family, business, religion, and law. This book got many great reviews. Collectively they all described this book as well written, colorful, and exciting. Alan Priest of the â€Å"New York Times† wrote, â€Å"Mr. Creel produced a most interesting study of the life and culture of a civilization†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Mr. Priest was not alone in his review of the book. Yet, another review of this book comes from and unknown author with â€Å"Time† magazine.

Energy Bars: Balance Bar Versus Power Bar :: Comparison Compare Contrast Essays

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The Balance Bar and Power Bar are two energy bars currently on the market. These two bars, despite their largely different carbohydrate, fat and protein contents, performed remarkably similarly in insulin level tests conducted by Steven Hertzler and Yeonsoo Kim of Ohio State University. Post meal studies have found that test subjects who consumed the Balance Bar exhibited a similar pattern of insulin level increase over time as subjects who consumed the Power Bar did. These test results go contrary to expectations.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The Power Bar and Balance Bar, due to their relatively different purposes, are quite different in nutritional content. Because of the Power Bar’s focus on supplying quick energy to athletes, it contains a large amount of easily absorbable carbohydrates and very little protein or fat, which take much longer to digest. The Balance Bar, on the other hand, attempts to maintain a 40:30:30 ratio of carbohydrates to fats to proteins. This ratio of nutrients is set in order to adhere to the Zone theory of weight loss. Side by side, the differences are clear. Of the 60 grams in a Power Bar, 38.8 grams (about 65 percent) were composed of carbohydrates, a large contrast to the 26.4 grams (about 44 percent) of carbohydrates present in a similar 60 gram Balance Bar. In addition, while the Power bar has only 9.2 grams of protein, the Balance Bar has nearly double that amount, containing a much higher 16.8 grams. Fat content follows this same trend, with the Power Bar’s 2.3 grams almost tripled by the Balance Bar’s 7.3 grams.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Because of the nutritional findings, scientists expected the post-prandial (after a meal) levels of insulin to appear quite different from each other. Because insulin levels have often been found in correlation to carbohydrate levels, researchers were expecting to find such a difference in their insulin concentration results. In addition, because the body can convert carbohydrates into energy more readily, a subject who consumed a Power Bar would be expected to have an insulin increase and eventual decrease much faster than a subject who consumed a Balance Bar would.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  While the two energy bars have very different compositions, laboratory tests appear to show very little difference in their effects on insulin production. In a 120-minute analysis of insulin levels after 15-minute intervals, both bars revealed a common trend. 15 minutes after consumption of the bars, both Power Bar and Balance Bar test subjects had approximately

Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 11

11. Being the Chronicles of Abby Normal, Pathetic Failure to All Creatures Great and Small I have failed as a minion, a girlfriend, and a human being in general, and that doesn't even count Biology 102, which I am still totally failing despite actually going to class twice. The Countess has been gone for like a week, and no one has seen her or the vampyre Flood. I've gone looking for them, mainly when I'm supposed to be at school. I don't even know where to look. I kind of walk around asking people if they've seen a totally hawt redhead and they either hurry away really fast or, in the case of one guy, who I suspect was a pimp, offered me a thousand dollars to bring her to him if I found her. Then he offered me a job, because he said, â€Å"Johns go for that skinny Lolita shit.† And I was all, â€Å"Oh, that's very flattering, sir. Thank you. Once I find my friend I will bring her back and we'll both be happy to service the disgusting choads of creepy strangers and hand you all of our money along with any self-worth we might have left.† And he was all, â€Å"You do that, little momma. You do that.† Which is just another reason that I need to find the Countess and beg her forgiveness, because my new phone has video and I can't wait to post a clip on my blog of Jody scattering bloody pimp parts all over the Tenderloin. (The Countess has lectured me about respecting myself and how a woman must never sacrifice her dignity to a man unless he gives her jewelry or is a smoking hottie and has a job, so I think there will at least be broken bones and a beating of many colors.) Evidently there's a shortage of hookers and homeless people in the City, it was on the Chronicle's Web site. They reported it like it was a good thing, VICE ARRESTS DOWN or something, and another article about homeless shelters having plenty of room for the first time, ever. OMFG! They're kitty treats, you douche nozzles! That's why I refused to be on the school paper. Journalists are oblivious to the obvious and they won't even let you say fuck. ‘Kayso, when I finally got back to the love lair, the windows were all boarded up with plywood and Foo and Jared had like alphabetized all of the rats and had them stacked up and labeled and whatnot. So, I, like, ran into Foo's arms and kissed him a good long time, then I looked around and I was all: â€Å"They're dead. Our loft is full of dead rats.† And Jared is all, â€Å"Not dead. Undead.† So to Foo I'm all, â€Å"‘Splain, s'il vous plaà ®t.† And Foo's like, â€Å"It's amazing, Abby. You just have to inject them with a little vampyre blood and it turns them, but not until you kill them. It took us a while to figure that out.† â€Å"So you killed all these rats?† â€Å"I did,† goes Jared. â€Å"It made me sad, but I'm okay with it now. Science.† â€Å"How?† And Foo says, â€Å"Potassium chloride.† At the exact same time Jared says, â€Å"With a hammer.† And Jared gets all big scared anime eyes and is like, â€Å"Yeah, potassium chloride. That's what I meant.† And I'm all, â€Å"You have been killing and vamping rats while the Countess and Tommy are lost and the whole city is papered with missing cat flyers, and like Chet and his minions are eating all the homeless and probably the hookers?† And they were like, â€Å"Well-yeah.† â€Å"And I had to work and go to class,† says Foo. â€Å"And polish my car.† And Jared's all, â€Å"And we've been making sunlight jackets for those two cops, which takes like a million little wires.† And he, like, points to our coffee table, which is the only surface that doesn't have cages full of dead rats, and there's not even jackets there, just, like, jacket-shaped nets of wire with little glass beads all over them. And I'm all, â€Å"Cops can't wear those. They look like robot lingerie.† And Jared is all, â€Å"Trs cool, non?† â€Å"No!† I go. â€Å"And do not further endorken the French language by wrapping your disgusting penis port around it. You'll ruin the whole language before I even learn enough to express my deep despair and dark desires en franà §ais, you rat smasher.† ‘Kay, I know that was a little harsh, but I was angry, and in my defense, I was grinding Foo's leg a little when I said â€Å"dark desires,† so I said it with love. Foo's all, â€Å"We didn't have time to actually get jackets. They need to be leather and they're expensive.† So it's clear that despite his mad ninja science skills, even my beloved Foo cannot be left without female supervision. But he has been going home lately, and his parents are a bad influence on him. So I'm like, â€Å"I got this. I'll go see Lily.† Lily is my backup BFF. She used to be my BFF, but at the same time I met Lord Flood and the Countess, Lily got a book in the mail at her work, which is Asher's Secondhand, and it convinced her that she is Death, so I'm all, â€Å"Whatever, ho.† And she was all, â€Å"Free to live my own nightmare, skank.† So we were cool. ‘Kayso, I took the 45 bus from the dead-ratted love lair to North Beach. Walking through Chinatown sort of creeps me out 'cause of all the Chinese grandmothers on the street, who I'm pretty sure are talking about me because they think I have ruined Foo with my Gothy-Anglo charms. Also, I get mad dim sum cravings for which I should someday seek treatment, or, like, snacks. ‘Kayso, at Asher's, Lily comes out from behind the counter and gives me a hug and a big kiss on my forehead (because she is taller than me in addition to having surplus boobage). And I'm like, â€Å"There's a big violet lip print on my forehead, huh?† And Lily goes, â€Å"Kiss of Death-get used to it, beyotch-matches your hair tips, trs cute.† So I'm all, â€Å"‘Kay.† It wasn't really the kiss of Death, but it did match my tips. Then I was all, â€Å"Lils, I need men's leather jackets in these sizes.† I gave her the note Foo wrote out with the sizes and cut and whatnot. And she was all, â€Å"WTF, Abs? Fifty long? You buying a jacket for an orca?† â€Å"Ginormous gay cop. You got it?† â€Å"Yeah. You wanna smoke a clove?† And I'm all, â€Å"Do you have enough violet lipstick?† Because smoking is, like, the worst for your lipstick and it did match my hair. And she's all, â€Å"Bitch, please.† Meaning, â€Å"Do I ever not have enough makeup?† Which is true, because Lily carries a PVC ROBOT PIRATES messenger bag you could hide a small kid in, only she carries beauty products. So I was all, â€Å"‘Kay.† So Lily and I went out the back door and stared at the Dumpster like it was the very abyss of our despair while we smoked. And I'm just getting ready to tell her about the love lair, and Foo, and vampyre kitties and all, because I've sort of been in boyfriend mode, so, like, out of contact, which Lily totally gets. And Lil's like, â€Å"So, the big gay cop have a Hispanic partner?† And I'm like, â€Å"Rivera and Cavuto. Crusty day dwellers, but Rivera kind of has a secret-agent vibe. You know them?† And Lily is all, â€Å"Yeah, they were here yesterday. Rivera wears expensive suits. Smells good, too. I'd do him.† And I'm like gagging. â€Å"Lils, he's like a thousand years old, and a cop. The Motherbot was getting squishy over him. OMG! You're disgusting!† â€Å"Shut up, I'm not saying I'd do him normal. I mean like zombie Apocalypse trapped in the mall right before we have to shoot each other to keep them from eating our brains and turning us to the undead-then I'd do him.† So I'm all, â€Å"Oh sure, then.† To make her feel better, because she doesn't have a BF and often oversluts to compensate, but I still thought it was disgusting. But to change the subject, I was all, â€Å"So what did they want?† â€Å"They were asking all kinds of irrelevant bullshit. Had I seen any strange cats, did I see the Emperor, or some redhead.† And I'm all, Fucksocks! Fucksocks! Fucksocks! inside. But on the outside I'm all chill and I'm like, â€Å"So, you like didn't know anything, right?† â€Å"No, Asher said a hot redhead came into the store the other night, and then I was on the cable car last night, going down to Max's Deli for a sammy, and I think I saw her going into the Fairmont Hotel. Like a crazy cape of long red curls I would slaughter puppies for.† â€Å"Red leather jacket?† â€Å"Sweet red leather jacket.† â€Å"You didn't tell them, did you?† And Lil's all, â€Å"Well, yeah.† And I was all, â€Å"You traitorous whore!† And I punched her in the shoulder. In my defense, you're supposed to tell your ex-BFF when you get fresh ink, so the screaming was completely over the top. I had no way of knowing that she had a new tattoo on that shoulder, so her punching me in the boob was totally uncalled for. So, I'm ouching trs loud and this Russian lady from upstairs peeks her head out the window and she's all, â€Å"Quiet please, is sounding like burning bear out there.† ‘Kayso, Lils and I start to laugh and say, â€Å"Like bear,† over and over again until the Russian lady slams the window shut, like bear. Then it comes back to me and I'm all, â€Å"Lils, I have to get those jackets and get to the Fairmont. I have to save the Countess.† And Lily is like, â€Å"‘Kay,† not even asking details, which is why I love her-she is so nihilist it's, like, not funny. ‘Kayso, I take the jackets and catch a cab to the Fairmont, which totally pisses off the cabbie because it's only like six blocks, but when I get to the hotel I'm all, â€Å"Fucksocks!† because I'm too late. JODY Falling asleep was one of the things Jody missed about being human. She missed the satisfied, tired feeling of falling into bed and drifting off in a dreamy twilight sea of dreams. In fact, since she'd turned, unless she'd just gone too long without feeding, she never even felt tired. On most mornings, unless she and Tommy had been making love, and they went out in each other's arms, she just found a relatively comfortable position and waited for the sun to rise and put her out. Maybe a flutter of an eyelid, lasting a second, then off like a light. The closest thing to a dream state she'd experienced as a vampire was when she'd gone to mist inside the bronze statue, and even then, the door into dreamland slammed shut at dawn. The constant alertness of being a vampire was, well, it was a bit irritating. Especially since she'd been searching the City for Tommy for a week, pushing her jumped-up senses to their limits, and had to return to the hotel every morning with nothing. Apparently, Tommy had limped down an alley and vanished. She'd checked everyplace in the City that she'd ever taken him, every place he'd ever been, as far as she knew, and still there was no evidence of his having been there. She'd hoped she would have some special vampire â€Å"sixth sense† to help her find him, like the old vampire who had turned her seemed to have had, but no. Now, she was returning to her room at the Fairmont for the seventh morning. And for the seventh morning she would put out the â€Å"Do Not Disturb† signs, lock the door, put on her sweats, drink a pouch of the blood she kept locked in a mini-cooler, brush her teeth, then crawl under the bed and go over a mental map of the City until dawn put her out. (Since she was technically dead at dawn, sleeping on top of a comfortable mattress was a dangerous luxury, and by climbing under the bed she put one more layer between her and sunlight, should a nosy maid somehow find a way into her room.) Part of her new pre-dawn ritual had been returning to the hotel a little later each morning; like the skydiver who will let himself fall closer and closer to earth before pulling the ripcord to boost the adrenaline rush just a little more. The last two mornings she'd just been entering the hotel when the alarm watch she wore, which was set to go off ten minutes before sunrise on any given day, based on an electronic almanac, had started beeping. She'd bought one for Tommy, too, and wondered if he was still wearing his. As she strode down California Street, she tried to remember if he'd been wearing it when they cut him out of the bronze shell. Two blocks from the Fairmont her alarm watch went off and she couldn't help but smile a little at the thrill. She picked up her pace, figuring that she'd still be safely inside her room with time to spare before sunup, but she might have to forgo the sweats and the blood snack. As she came up the steps into the lobby she smelled cigar, and Aramis cologne, and the combination sent an electric chill of alarm up her spine before she could identify the danger. Cops. Rivera and Cavuto. Rivera smelled of Aramis, Cavuto of cigars. She stopped, her boot heels skidding a little on the marble steps. There they were, both at the front desk, but a bellman was leading them to the elevator. He was taking them to her room. How? she thought. Doesn't matter. It was getting light. She checked her watch: three minutes to find shelter. She backed away from the door, out onto the sidewalk, then began to run. Normally she would have paced herself so someone didn't notice the redhead in boots and jeans running faster than an Olympic sprinter, but they'd just have to tell their friends and not be believed. She needed cover, now. She was a block and a half down Mason Street when she came to an alley. She'd survived her first night as a vampire under a Dumpster. Maybe she could survive the day inside one. But there was someone down there, the kitchen crew of a restaurant, outside smoking. On she ran. No alleys in the next two blocks, then a narrow space between buildings. Maybe she could shimmy down there and crawl in a basement window. She crawled on a narrow, plywood gate and had one foot down before a pit bull came storming down the corridor. She leapt out onto the sidewalk and started running again. What kind of psychopath uses a two-foot-wide space between buildings as a dog run? There should be laws. This was Nob Hill, all open, with wide boulevard streets, a once-grand neighborhood now made incredibly irritating to a vampire in need of shelter. She rounded the corner at Jackson Street, snapping a heel off her right boot as she did. She should have worn sneakers, she knew, but wearing the high, expensive leather boots made her feel a little like a superhero. It turned out that turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero. She was up on her toes now, running, limping toward Jackson Square, the oldest neighborhood in San Francisco that had survived the great quake and fire of 1906. There were all kinds of little cubbyholes and basement shops in the old brick buildings down there. One building even had the ribs of a sailing ship in its basement, a remnant built over when the Gold Rush left so many ships abandoned at the waterfront that the City literally expanded over them. One minute. The shadow of the Transamerica Pyramid was lying long across the neighborhood ahead like the needle of a deadly sundial. Jody did a final kick-sprint, snapping off her other boot heel as she did. She scanned the streets ahead for windows, doors, trying to sense movement inside, looking for stillness, privacy. There! On the left, a door below street level, the stair-case hidden by a wrought-iron railing covered in jasmine. Ten more steps and I'm there, she thought. She saw herself jumping the rail, shouldering through the door, and diving under the first thing that would shelter her from the light. She took the final three steps and leapt just as the sun broke the horizon. She went limp in the air, fell to the sidewalk, short of the stairwell, and skidded on her shoulder and face. As her eyes fluttered, the last thing she saw were a pair of orange socks right in front of her, then she went out and began to smolder in the sunlight.